How to make a girl cry.....

So after telling you about my sickness and feeling like I was on death's doorstep. Lemme just tell ya 'bout what happened the day before I went to urgent care mmkay? I was home by myself, feeling like crap, missin the hubs, bored out of my mind and tired of layin in bed. I decided I was hungry and would scan the fridge (which I made look like a snowman....see here,
 
although embarassing a little because I don't have kids yet and this is a mommy thing to do I suppose. Whatev this is what my hubbs gets since we live in the ole A-P-T which stands for apartment, and don't have stainless steel appliances.....yet!)  back to the story, geeze I am rambling today. I bought 3 bottles of 2 buck chuck (2 $ wine at trader joes) about a month before the wedding to try it out to see if we should use that for our open bar, duh its cheap people. Instead we just drank it for ourselves and got it from a liquor store that delivers it chilled (trader joes does not offer this service, I asked). Anyshways, we (and by we, I mean ...I) I drank the white zin and the pinot griogio but am not real big on red wine, so I threw the vaccum sealer top on that sucker after we tried it and put it ever so lovingly on the top of the fridge, away from the edge. My hubbs brute strength when he closes the fridge door apparently moved that sucker toward the edge each time and since I don't watch the wine bottle as it progresses toward a 'Lauren had another meltdown' place on top of the fridge,...I shut the door and BOOOOOM. It fell. Missed me by a hair, like literally a hair and hit the countertop and exploaded. Not just shattered. EXPLOADED. The bottom of the bottle bounced off the back wall of our kitchen and the top shot all the way to the other side of the room with glass still stuck in the vaccuum sealer (side note: that thing works). Enjoy these pictures because I was bawling my eyes out while I took them..... I called Taylor crying hoping he would feel bad for me because I was sick and hungry and come clean the mess. Instead I got an " I'm sorry baby, he he hehe" " are you ok and no I can't come home right now sorry again he he"
See the friggin bottle on the counter, all 4 drip pans in my burners were full of wine, it dented my diet coke can, and went all down the side of the fridge.....


This is my kitchen floor.Notice that I had to pick out miniscule glass shards out of everything from my cabinet tops, floor, stove burners, sink, oven drawer before cleaning anything else, you cant sweep, swiffer or mop glass shards....then I had to dry up all the wine with paper towels the best I could. Then I clorox wiped almost every surface of my kitchen, it got everywhere even the wall on the other side of the fridge and the walls about the OVEN AND SINK. HOW THE H DID THIS HAPPEN!?!?!?

Look closely you can see it all over the dishwasher and cabinets.


Then I swiffer wet jetted the whole room twice and vaccumed the carpet in the living room for glass just in case, yes there was some....alll while crying (well pissed off tearing really) I was too mad to cry after the first few sobs of frustration rang out.... I promptly returned to my bed and didn't get out of it until the next day.

moral of the story. NO MORE RED WINE IN OUR RESIDENCE, EVER FOR ANY REASON.