I sit here with heavy eyes and a longing for bed that can not be explained but somehow can't stop reading blogs of others, of mommas and wives and friends and families. I look at their lives and am inspired to do something so much more with mine. To have all that. The babies, the houses, the chaos, the love. But as soon as I type it, no, before I type it I realize that I have all that already and I am sooo thankful.
I have the love of an incredible man who wants nothing more but to spend time with me and kiss me and "snoogle" me as he calls it, and begs me not to go to work (even though we both know I have to). Who texts me even when he knows I am trying to sleep just because he misses me and is taking a shot in the dark that I'm awake. Who gets excited about our future and our kids and whats next,
but is excited about it all ....because he gets to do all of that with me.
Who dreams about our next house as much as I do and gets excited with me about purchasing a new mattress and washer and dryer. We are growing up and growing into each other and to have someone to call my own could not feel better especially as we start a new year.
This past year was pure choas... but in the good way, our engagement, wedding planning, new job, new apartment, wedding, honeymoon, settling in together. It's been a whirlwind but it's been amazing because I have gotten to do it all with my best friend at my side. I hope we will be this in love and this happy when we are 90.
Few things are sweeter than sharing the good and bad times with someone who loves you and supports you and wants the same things you do. I am learning all of this as a newlywed and am even further convinced Taylor is the perfect man for me. He challenges me and annoys me and makes me want to smother him with a pillow sometimes but he loves me and he wants me to the be the best person, wife, mother, friend, sister and daughter that I could ever be. I thank him for that everyday and I can only pray I do that for him.
I have the house. Its a small little 1000 sq feet 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment but it is perfect for us and its our house. Our home at least. We are starting to feel settled and decorated and organized (although the organization seems to have been constantly revised as we go). I am thankful we live in a clean, safe, well maintained place where we can only start our memories and grow to appreciate the things to come even more than we already should.
and let us not forget....I have the babies. The babies at work that I get to snuggle in the wee small hours of the morning with their tiny little fingers wrapped around the end of my finger (and my heart). Their warmth that radiates into you as you hold them. Their strength and endurance and willpower to overcome unimaginable hardships and illness with not so much as a grimace the majority of the time. Their calm, quiet, worryless sleeping is inspiring to me.... to cherish the little things in life.... and the big. The things like the comort of a warm dry bed and some food in your belly, your health and your family and those who care for you. Their indifference to who is with them, just thankful little smirks that someone is there and they are not alone. They remind me of what is important in life and encourage me to look forward to when I will have little ones of my own to share those feelings with, to share the love and the house and the chaos with.....but until then
here is to another year, another adventure, another hardship, another bright sunrise on the drive home, another snuggle time with a sweet baby, another warm cozy bed and another kiss from my husband. Here is to 2012 friends. May your year bring you as much happiness as our last one did and may 2012 bring wonderful things for you and yours!
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